evil–isnt–born:

nothingimpossibleonlyimprobable:

queen-mabs-revenge:

nothingimpossibleonlyimprobable:

queen-mabs-revenge:

I just got home from food shopping and immediately popped open the jar of sliced jalepenos and started eating them like m&ms. And then, as is wont to happen, started thinking about Killian Jones.

So Killian’s relationship with spicy food?

Going from the food conversation from last week or so, the food landscape in which the Jones brothers grew up probably wasn’t a very spiced one. Depending on when and where the ships he grew up on would have traded, they may have transported spices now and then, but considering that Silver was talking about grain runs, IDK if they were making long and exotic journeys, tbh, and it’s not like Killian and Liam would have been able to sample the cargo anyway.

While being in the navy did send them to exotic locales, ship fare would have been fairly bog standard and stolid, I imagine (and from what we see in Liam’s cabin, dried meats, bread and nuts were on the menu at least).

But by the time he meets Milah, he’s talking about cities where the air smells of spices – it seems that wee pirate Killian got to take trips a bit further abroad than he previously had.

Imagine newly-rebelled Killian berthed for a few days in a foreign city trying to soak in as much of the vividly different sights as he possibly could while going about his business with a few crew members – choking down the instinct to gape wide eyed and instead maintains his dangerous pirate swagger. He wanders over to a food stand that’s preparing something that looks vaguely recognisable – a bit of meat and vegetables in a bit of some type of bread – pays, takes a bite, and just stands there for a second trying to slowly and methodically chew like his entire face isn’t being wholly consumed with fire. And he’s silently screaming realising that he has to eat the whole damned thing, because he’s fucked if he’s letting anyone think he’s met something he can’t handle.

After that he makes it a challenge to get used to the flavour, and after a while even begins to seek it out – the captain’s table in the Jolly Roger is never without a tin of dried chilli peppers.

Of course, Emma hasn’t had a chance to hear the story yet, and pops a plate of hot wings in front of him during the Super Bowl party at the Charming loft. He doesn’t miss how David and Emma are hovering while eagerly awaiting his verdict, nor how Snow and Henry are very conspicuously Not Looking. 

He ends up being the one in stitches as Emma punches his arm and declares him no fun after he eats six of them in succession without even flushing.

And once she knows, he makes it his mission to try the various hot sauces he can get his hand on. Habañero, sriracha, bone-suckin’ bbq, and then he finds the specialty ones, ones Emma begs him not to bring home. The After Death hot sauce that comes with a little skull keychain, the straight-up capsaicin that he can only use a dot from a toothpick lest even his eyes start watering, and he starts growing ghost peppers in their garden because the ones from the market are duds.

YAAAS omg secret-foodie!Killian is 3000% my jam. My name is Stef, and I fully endorse this headcanon.

Also, Henry def got him the After Death hot sauce as a gift with a kind of cheeky smile like “I thought it was pretty appropriate” which kind of signifies the beginning of the point where they all can start making jokes about it, for which Killian is eternally grateful. And then, of course because Killian is so into it, Henry (to Emma’s everlasting chagrin) starts getting into That Scoville Life™

as well. Every time he sets the table for dinner, he puts a bottle of hot sauce out next to the salt and pepper and Killian’s sees it and is like ~*~ಥ‿ಥ mY sOn~*~

Also YES to him starting to source High Quality Spices like “Swan. Do you understand? The only time I’ve ever seen this was when we managed to raid a ship directly provisioning the royal larder. And now it’s being hand delivered to my doorstep? Can you? I mean. DO YOU UNDERSTAND?” He jealously guards his mortar and pestle (“nO SOOoooAP!”). And if there are some further-flung characters hanging about from the Land Of Untold Stories, maybe some places will start popping up with a bit more scope than Granny’s and Tony’s, and date night is always accompanied by ridiculously overwrought stories of where and when he tasted food like this last.

Captain Spicy Cobra, accepted.

Okay but imagine at first, when he just starts getting adventurous with foods and spices, a little bit of internal conflict because he wants to explore this world of foods and open himself up to new things and experience a whole realm of flavours and experiences he’s never had before, but a bit of reservation because of course he remembers what happened to Liam, and how something billed as innocent turned deadly too fast. So imagine Research Nerd Killian Jones holed up in his cabin nights before they’re set to land in a new port, poring over books about the local cuisine and flavours, learning everything he can, simultaneously calming his own nerves but getting himself even more excited about this new world of food because IT’S JUST SO COOL, SMEE, OKAY?