Just some post wedding intimacy on the Jolly Roger, because I just couldn’t help myself and I woke up with a much needed desire to write…
His dream is like a wave, cresting and crashing as it heads towards the shore, sand and shells churning in its wake but never quite hitting the beach before it recedes. When he wakes, frustration still bubbles at the edges of his consciousness as his fingers dig into the mattress beside him where his new bride should be. He blinks his eyes to adjust to the darkness, the candles he’d scattered around the room after their nuptials now all pools of hardened wax. Pushing back the coverlet, he crosses to an old trunk and pulls out a pair of old linen pants, not wanting to go in search of Emma in his current state of undress.
He finds her quite easily, but allows himself a moment to take her in. The complicated braid she’d worn earlier has fallen loose, allowing golden tendrils to dance in the breeze along with the worn fabric of his sheet she’s wrapped around her like a cloak. She could be mistaken for a spectral, or an angel, some benevolent spirit come to grant his every wish and guarantee a lifetime of happiness.
But something has drawn her from his bed on their wedding night and he aches to soothe whatever might be troubling her mind. So, he crosses to her quietly, making enough noise to be certain she hears his approach. She turns with a smile as he draws near enough to touch, easing a bit of his nerves as he draws his hand around her waist and presses a kiss to her temple.
Spoilers for 6×12, follows immediately on from the end of that episode. Warning for the self-loathing of Killian Jones. Rated M. ~1800 words.
He opens the door to the house gingerly when he can finally bring himself to do it, when he’s resisted the temptation to just fucking run away, to go down to the harbor and cast off the ropes anchoring the Jolly Roger to the dock. To sail away before he causes these people that he’s come to care for more pain.
Killian follows the sound of the television, comes upon the warm tableau of his family (not yet – maybe not ever). Emma is curled up under an afghan, her bowl of popcorn and melted candy balanced on her lap. Henry says something about the show they’re watching – a scary tale of a sad orphaned lass who can kill people with her mind and a desperate parent who seems to be able to communicate with her lost son via electric lights. Emma and Henry were watching it together before she got taken to that wish realm, and now they’ve picked it back up again as if nothing happened, as if Emma didn’t almost die between one episode and the next. He wonders, not for the first time, why they crave these scary stories from the television when their lives are terrifying enough.
Emma lifts the end of the afghan in invitation, and so he shucks his jacket off and sits down next to her, enjoying her warmth as she leans into him, her cheek pressed against his bicep. He feels her sigh and relax, as if his presence was the only piece of the puzzle she was lacking.
So I thought to myself: but why does he get a new jacket?
And then this happened. But one
possibility of many. I blame @acrobat-elle for this. Starts
pre-new-jacket.
Stepping quietly across the living room floor, Killian peers
out the nearest window. It’s still the
middle of February, and as he’s gathered, winter never seems to end in this
realm, as surely as summer persists in Neverland. He gives the fire a stir before he rests
against the windowsill, the divots in the delicately carved wood sure to press
a pattern into his flesh. But there’s
something about the quiet, the illusion of total solitude, the complete and
utter darkness, that’s remarkably comforting.
So he stays, and presses the palm of his hand against the glass, where
the wind and the biting cold have begun to draw sharp, frozen figures.
First, let me go on record and say that the proposal made me emotional. It was the music, the words, the acting in the way Jen and Colin pulled this off, it was Emma’s growth as a character. All of it sort of collided into a perfect moment. I thought it represented the characters really well. And for a minute, there were no walls, or impending death.
But yes, there is that pesky secret, and last night, I thought of episode 6×05 when Killian went out to dispose of the shears and came back and what it is that he tells Emma about wanting her to have what she wants.
For me, that’s the parallel this season for Captain Swan. As usual, the characters have been flipped and the storyline is now practically the same on both ends. They even included Archie in it.
Emma was keeping a secret from her family that only Archie was privy to and she kept it for 5 episodes. During that time, she took a very big step forward in her relationship with Killian with this large secret and threat looming over her head.
In this half, Killian has a secret and though he doesn’t know the nature or what it is, Archie is once again the only one who knows about it. Killian actually called him to see if he could have an appointment, and had that happened, the odds were that Killian was going to spill his guts right then and there.
Killian said in 6×05 that he whatever Emma wanted, that’s what she would have, and he was very true to his word. She wanted him, she wanted the ring, she wanted to hear him ask her to marry him, so he gave her that, because there was no way he was going to turn her down.
And it’s something he wanted as badly as she did.
I think the moment was beautiful, especially when we consider that the last time they used that music was under completely different circumstances. And not for nothing, that moment back in 5×08 was the start of Emma keeping a doozie of a secret. So if anything, the writers have remained very true to the whole Emma and Killian mirror each other.
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