Tired: bitching and moaning about someone blocking you and trying to make them feel bad about it because it’s an inconvenience for you.
Wired: realizing that you bothered someone to the point that they felt the need to block you and being okay with it because them having an enjoyable fandom experience is more important than you being inconvenienced.
Many people seem to support the idea that fandom experiences are more enriching when people are open to different ideas/views instead of sticking to their own bubbles where they’re surrounded by other fans who share the same views. Sometimes I even get a sense of entitlement/superiority coming from these fans who claim to be open-minded and who shout from the rooftops that they have no problem dealing with different opinions, and how not belonging to a specific fanbase somehow makes them more mature or sophisticated fans for mastering the art of understanding different opinions.
I do agree that fandom experiences can be more enriching when someone is open to discussion and different views, but only when that discussion is positive and presents positive aspects about the things I love.
My fandom experience is my own way to forget about the rest of the world and the things that upset me. I am here to have fun and share my love for my favorite shows, characters and ships. I am all for listening to different positive opinions about the things that have brought me here in the first place, but I will not (and I do not) have to put up with different opinions that make me feel bad and take away my joy of being here just for the sake of being welcoming of all different opinions. This isn’t the news. This isn’t politics or any other subject where, yes, it’s important to be aware of all sides on certain matters in order for you to know where you stand. This is fiction. This is a fun way to share your love for fictional people. It’s not that serious and you are not required to welcome different opinions that have a negative impact on you.
And yet I see some fans being criticized or mocked for distancing themselves from people whose different opinions have a negative impact on their fandom experience. They’re accused of being “closed-minded”, of having a “hive mentality” and of excluding those who don’t belong to their “tribe”. And that’s just silly.
If you have more fun surrounding yourself with people who think like you, go ahead. Create your own bubble or tribe and have fun. If blocking people whose opinions upset you and you don’t ever wish to come across any of that, go ahead. Make use of that block button all you want. The way I see it, knowing what to do to keep enjoying yourself in this place is what truly determines whether or not a fandom experience is enriching, nothing else.
I had to check to make sure I didn’t sleep-send this anon to myself last night. LOL. It couldn’t be more true.
I mean. I don’t literally want to shake anyone. More hoping for people to have a metaphorical light-bulb moment and then I’d give a metaphorical hug afterwards. Because I’ve been there. I can’t judge someone harshly for the same mistake I’ve made in opening myself up to that sort of person. And, further, the mistake of opening up my followers to posts that broadcast and perpetuate the narrative that sort of manipulator cultivates via (often-times offline) communication with his/her “friends” and through anon asks. It’s especially hard for me to judge since I know that it’s out of empathy that a person chooses to form a relationship with someone who makes initial connections with you by coming to your aide when you’ve been treated badly (by members of your own fandom, you believe) because it appears a) that you share loves of the same things, b) that person has also been treated badly by the same fandom, and c) that person only wants to enjoy the show you do and doesn’t want fandom divide. It’s hard to comprehend that NONE of that is actually true.
It’s only in retrospect did I learn how this sort of social media sociopath could actually send shit-stirring anons to you to either create the adversity that forms the connection in the first place, or to continue to send them to create the image that you are being harassed by your own fandom. These sorts of people also send anon asks to themselves in an effort to fuel the narrative they want people to believe about fandom.
And since I consider myself a work-in-progress who constantly seeks to be better – who is ready and willing to check myself regarding minority issues – it was also easy to feel a connection to the sort of person who claims to champion social justice. It’s only in the end that you discover that this kind of person only uses SJ in order to win debates about stans/ships and plots, while, in practice, they disregard actual opinions and experiences of actual minorities when they are communicated and they also don’t do a heck of a lot of activism in Real Life.
I’ve been fandom-ing since 2000 online, and have interacted with loads of manipulative people in that realm and in real life, and so I thought I was savvy and boy was I wrong. So, although my patience in seeing some of these posts isn’t eternal and I may wind up unfollowing some folks in the short term, I’m always happy to offer a hug and refollow when the proverbial shit hits the fan.
Emma: *makes an innocuous comment with a common phrase meaning to help someone out* Killian: *turns it into a pun* Part of Fandom: *clutches pearls* HOW DARE SHE?! Me: *rolls eyes*
So….who here has been married or is currently married? I am. 13 and a half years of marriage so far and my husband is BIG into puns. I say things all the time and he turns it into puns. I feed my husband pun material. It’s hilarious and he is very clever with them.
News flash guys: if they have that sort of relationship it means they’ve built their relationship on friendship, trust, and love. Don’t get offended for him. If he had an issue, he would have brought it up a long time ago.
Stop waging war over something that doesn’t pertain to you. If you have a disability and you do not make light of your situation, don’t knock down others that find solace in a good pun. If you don’t have a disability and know someone who does and how they feel about it, please stop applying your friends/brothers/uncles/mothers/formerroommates feelings to others. It isn’t a fucking blanket statement.
^^^^^^ Yes, I was just saying this last night! People don’t get to tell someone else how to feel about their disability, especially if they don’t have the disability. You’re not crusading for anything, you’re just discounting someone’s feelings and picking fights where you don’t need to.
That scene was meant to showcase their married couple banter again. CS’ whole appearance was meant to be nostalgic. It’s why Emma was in the red leather jacket and OG Killian was in his pirate clothes. It’s why Emma said the ‘Sorry I’m late’ line. It’s why the hand comment was brought up in the first place, it was a direct callback to the Captain Cobra Swan scene in NYCS and meant to show the growth in the relationship dynamics between all three of them.
Yup, basically. It just makes me kind of sad because I have had to unfollow several blogs this season, from people I really liked and used to read their metas or art or general posts, because the bitterness and the sudden hate for CS just wasn’t something I could stand, and I truly couldn’t get why suddenly I saw so much hate hate toward CS, like hey I get it Season 6 was damn awful, but I never blamed it on my OTP but on the writers so, idk…
As I said, it’s damn sad that the drama doesn’t stop even after the show is over *sigh*
I don’t want to dwell excessively on the latest drama, and I understand it’s just an opinion and everyone is entitled to have those, but the idea that showing a man carrying his baby in his arm is somehow “emasculating him” is just impossible for me to wrap my head around, sorry. I think it’s lovely to see a father doting on his child, and I don’t understand why it was somehow the cutest and most perfect thing ever when WHook held baby Alice, but it’s somehow such a sin to see OG Killian carrying baby Hope.
It’s really fucking sad that the show is over and the drama still keeps going strong though…
Season 7 has shown how fucking transparent this fandom is and it’s amazing.
A version of Hook that is not attatched to Emma comes along and all the people who hated him originally worship the ground he walks on despite them being fundamentally the same character.
Hook and Henry, two straight white men, have the most screentime by a considerable margin (Hook has half an hour more than Ella, the supposed “leading lady”) far suprassing the queer women and the characters of colour an yet there is no uproar, no “Stop Once Upon A Hook”, no “this is meant to be a feamle driven show”, no uproar that a white man upstaged a WOC who was billed as the new lead. (not saying that is what I think happened, but remember the fandom in seasons 5 and 6 and heck, even season 4?)
Belle got the most misogynsitic ending of all time, being a submissive and doting housewife to her abusive husband and literally never leaving him or seeing her family and friends again and literally dying for him, but there was no uproar from his “feminist” fandom (but Emma had a child with her loving partner, which is basically the Handmaid’s Tale!).
Indeed it has. That’s the funny thing about people screaming “season 7 has ruined this fandom!!” Like, no, season 7 has done nothing of the such. All it has done is expose people for who they really are, and then the actual people have taken it from there. Literally everyone could be hanging out and laughing still if certain people hadn’t taken things too far and started calling people out for having a different opinion. Not sure when these people got the idea that the fandom was a hive mind that had to agree all the time lest there be chaos, but it’s that kind of mentality that has caused the divide. And it is on both sides here. As someone who is very much anti season 7, I have seen a lot of people who agree with me acting just as horribly towards pro season 7 fans as some pro s7 fans have acted towards us. And the sad thing is that these people have always been like this, and we just never realized it because we were all on the same side. It’s very interesting to see how some people will completely turn on you as soon as they’re given a reason to.
Here is a crazy idea for you guys: the Captain Swan baby/Swan-Jones family (Captain Swan Cygnet) and Alice Jones/KnightRook can…. now wait for it…. peacefully coexist and the existence of one doesn’t affect the existence of the other in any way whatsoever.
cshappybeginning 