You know, when someone from an rival ‘shipper camp’ tells you that ‘you’re not like the other so-and-so shippers’, that’s not actually a compliment.
That’s the fandom equivalent of a guy emotionally manipulating a girl by telling her that ‘she’s not like other girls’ and expecting her to be flattered despite the fact that he’s just denigrated an entire group of people to which she actually belongs.
So, you know. You might want to watch out for that.
By Australia time, this old post of mine is now exactly two years old.
And to my disappointment (but not surprise), there are still (former?) CS shippers eager to drink the Manipulative-Shit-Stirring-Troll’s special brand of “you’re so funny and kind, not like all those other CS shippers” Kool-aid.
If she hadn’t caused so much drama and hurt in the CS fandom over the last few years, I’d almost admire her amazingly effective ‘divide and conquer’ strategy.
At NJ Con today, she said that she was ‘down for $q, but the writers went in a different direction’.
Which only plays into their narrative that there was a chance for it, but the big bad writers shut it down. When all the rest of us know it was NEVER gonna be a thing. This encourages them to continue attacking the showrunners, disregarding the actors of the canon ships that made $q null and void (which they very much did blatantly yesterday during the Jen and Colin Q/A), and continue attacking those of us that supported the canon ships.
There is a WAY to show support to a fandom without demeaning the rest of the fandoms. JMo did it beautifully yesterday, when she said she supports the fans and their interpretations, but she also supports and respects the direction the show went and that’s what she’s got to go on when she’s discussing the show. She didn’t dismiss anybody’s feelings, but made it clear that what’s canon is canon and she was happy with that canon, and that’s that.
so once again Lana looks like a hero and JMO looks like bad guy…what else is new? And people wonder why Lana was CGI’d in after the fact in 7×02….ya I wouldn’t want to stand in next to her too.
I like that Regina’s method to get Emma to remember who she is was to murder her fucking parents and threaten her into remembering.
Cool cool.
Killian probably would have just encouraged her and helped her believe in herself but what do I know.
Just want to say, that for me personally, the issues I have with the episode and the portrayal of Emma are not that Wish!Princess Emma was not brave or she was weak, but that they had ACTUAL Emma basically THANKING REGINA for cursing her parents and a whole realm, and sentencing her to a horrible life in an unknown world where she lived 28 years of pain and loneliness, that it’s just because of that that she “is who she is”.
Sorry, that’s just utter BULLSHIT to me, not to mention that what kind of fucked up message that sends? That you can only be brave and strong if you have a shitty life? That you should thank all the people that ever hurt you, bullied you, or abused you in your life because their abuse “made you stronger”?
That’s just something I’m not sure I can forgive them for, honestly. And now after the fact and IF they actually come up with a PR statement to justify this particular writing choice, it still won’t erase the fact that they have consistently written Emma and her “friendship” with Regina as Emma constantly placating her, asking HER for forgiveness, or like in this case THANKING her for all the shit she did to her and her parents, I just can’t anymore with that.
Also, I need to say that I do am happy for the shipmates that enjoyed the episode or that are trying to focus on the positive, I truly am, but as usual, I just wish there was a little bit more understanding or respect for people expressing their also valid, if negative, opinion, and explaining why they felt hurt or disappointed by this episode, I promise most of us and for sure all of the people in my dash I’ve seen expressing their disappointment are not trying to tell anyone they’re wrong for having liked it, so please don’t say that to us in turn because it’s just not fair. Just my .02c
Okay. I have been debating whether or not to post this, but some things have happened recently that makes me think I should. I don’t want to put a damper on all the wonderful flailing, but this is a personal issue and it won’t get out of my head.
I also thought about putting a cut in the post. But I’m not going to. This needs to take up space on your dash. I’m posting this for myself, and for any of my non-straight friends who feel the same way I do about this.
I try my absolute hardest to stay out of the fandom drama. I would much rather stay in my own happy little bubble, but sometimes that is impossible. This is one of those times. Normally my mindset for ships is ‘live and let live’. But there’s been a paraphrase tossed around by both $qers as well as a portion of the CS fandom (definitely not all, most of you are amazingly accepting and I thank you for that) that pretty much equates to: “If you’re a lesbian or lgbtq+, you must ship $Q!” No. I don’t. Let me tell you why. The thing about equality is if it is true, it is equal to its counterparts. This means it would need to be a healthy relationship. One that is given as much thought and care as that of Snowing or CS. $Q is the complete opposite of that. In season one, Regina tried her best to get Emma out of town, whether that was shaming her, framing her, or flat out trying to kill her. She also ended up poisoning her adoptive son and Emma’s biological son in the process of trying to rid her life of Emma. Since then, a fragile friendship has grown, but it is just that: fragile. Regina still constantly puts Emma down and blames Emma for most of her problems, which –guess what- she usually brought upon herself. There is also the point that, by marriage, Regina is Emma’s step-grandmother. I’m not going to get into that part of it, because that sentence honestly should be enough. That is not a healthy relationship, and I can’t tell you how much it angers me to be pressured by people about why I do not ship this, (though I should mention, if you ship $q and keep to yourself, not harassing anyone, go for it! That’s your choice and I respect that, this is all just my personal opinion.) simply because I am a lesbian. Guess what? I DON’T EVEN SHIP RUBYSLIPPERS. I’m sorry but this was a horribly played out ship and sloppy storytelling and I refuse to sit back and accept it because “hey at least we got representation!” No. This is not accurate or equal representation. The thing that should have happened was Red Warrior. They baited us for months with those two, only to throw it all away and shove this random ‘true love’ in our faces in the span of one episode? And we’re supposed to be happy with that? No I don’t think so. But that’s not the point of this post. The point of this post is to ask for respect. Do not judge me because I am a lesbian with a straight ship. I ship CS because they love each other. Not because they’re straight or gay or anything else. They love each other and it’s healthy. I’m actually going to be writing a femslash au soon but guess what? It will still be Emma and Killian because Killian is Emma’s true love. I have lots of straight ships. I have lots of gay ships. I have lots of loving and healthy ships.
So please. Do not assume to tell me what I should ship because of my sexuality.
I just wanted to add a little something that I said on twitter yesterday but 140 words isn’t the best way to really convey anything of importance lol; my late best friend (who was a psychologist) used to tell me that people who traverse through life being angry and miserable at everything are like someone running around carrying a bag full of garbage; of course they are tired of just carrying it around and at the slightest provocation they will open the bag and fling the contents at anyone passing by. Her advice was to 1) do not get in the path of the flying garbage; and 2) do not pick that garbage up yourself to then fill your own bag, you may pick it up only to throw it in the trashcan around the corner where it belongs.
And finally and most importantly, don’t think for ANY second that other people’s garbage they throw at you actually soil you or make you in the wrong or a bad person; the key here is what in psychology is known as dis-identifying: do not borrow someone else’s problems, ever.
Even though I’m not really a regina “fan” and
sometimes I agree with some anti Regina metas (again, not capital A… [sorry a
bit of a tangent here to say that I would suggest calling Antis “Visceral
Antis” maybe? To me at least they seem to have an irrational hatred for
the character/ship and visceral reactions like that are just not open to reason
or calm discussion; that’s what I’ve been calling them in my head for a while
anyway :)] I do try to see all perspectives and reblog people who love Regina which means they are invested in
understanding her character and I’ve actually learned a lot about her that way,
so I really think that, no matter the justification, it’s just downright petty
for ppl to accuse you of being a “fake fan” of Regina.
As B mentioned,
there’s also definitely a lot of making assumptions of each other in fandom
because we’re basically just interacting around a very small focus, and I guess
it’s human nature and defense mechanisms to try to stay in a bubble of people who share our same
loves and hates because we may either hate confrontation (like I do), or get
anxious about it, and a myriad of other reasons depending wholly on each
individual’s circumstances.
I have been in the fandom since after 2×06 aired,
and I fully admit I consciously retreated into the “bubble” because
there was really so much nastiness out there, I mainly remember how we were
kicked out of the main tags and I still have the bitter taste of being called delusional, a rape apologist,
pathetic and that I and my friends should fling myself off a cliff for shipping
CS because “it’s never gonna happen” (I’m really not ever going into
the irony of those words and which shippers in fandom it came with though bc
it’s not my place but well…), so I repeat, I truly admire you for the bravery
it takes to get out of that bubble and try to understand every side in a
confrontation, if we can call it that.
Finally, if you agree, I would definitely be interested in
participating wth you in the project you talked about of chatting with people
and posting those chats; I know probably I won’t be as valuable as many other
more articulate bloggers out there might be, but I do have some opinions and
POV on mainly how people come to love or hate certain characters. Anyway, super
log way to say you have a friend in me and to send you a big hug for being such
a kind soul to everyone
CARMI – LET ME LOVE YOU!!!!
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts with me, I can’t
tell you how happy I was to read your message. I agree with your explanation of
why a lot of people stick to their “bubble,” and I’ve always been 100%
supportive of people who prefer to be in the CS bubble.
I appreciate you venturing slightly outside by following me, and
by being open to hearing a different point of view, even though I know that can
be uncomfortable sometimes. I know that’s not for everyone, and I certainly
have a lot of days where I just want to flail about CS and not bother with
anything else.
Your story about your early days in fandom as a CSer is a
familiar one that I have heard from many people, and I can completely
understand how things like that shaped your approach to fandom. I’ve had my own
negative experiences, and they’ve certainly shaped my approach big time (see: turning off anon
entirely).
I would love to talk to you for my new project idea! I still
have to work out how I’m going to do it. I’m quite nervous about it because I
know that some of the things I’d like to talk about make a lot of people
uncomfortable, and I want to approach it in as constructive and positive a way
as possible. I don’t want to cause unnecessary drama. I personally like talking
about these sorts of things, I find them very interesting, and I find that I grow
from hearing other POVs. I’ll probably lose some followers but gain others.
ANYWAY. You will be at the top of my list of invitees 😉 You are very
thoughtful and I would really love to hear your thoughts on how and why people
view certain characters.
Thanks for the ask and for your support 🙂
Thank you, Odette! ❤
I’ll look forward to that conversation definitely 🙂
cshappybeginning 